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Our vision is to become a supportive community where youll feel that theres someone out there who gets you, supports you in creating and keeping strong bonds between your families and friends. But most of all, you have to be honest with yourself! These feelings make him text you. How long are you prepared to wait for her? I guess the other day when his two teenage boys? Now you need to figure out what you should do next. So, pay attention to your gut instinct and all the details surrounding this situation. You cant reply to her texts, nor can you be the first one to text her. This is genuinely a question you have to answer for yourself. I asked him if I can see him, (I am in Philippines as of now and he's in Australia) he answer back and said NO,NOT NOW. Lets look at all the possible explanations as to why he says he needs space but still texts. He says he needs space but still texts: 15 tips if this is you Place importance on her actions, not on what she's saying to keep you strung along. Even if hes planning on dumping you, he doesnt want to be the vulnerable one. He wasn't my last and certainly wasn't the best. So now she wants to scare you. watch this simple and genuine video by James Bauer, Can guys cuddle without feelings? Many girls make a huge mistake by behaving like a foot mat and let the guy walk all over them under the constant fear of a breakup. If you do, just go along. Its totally up to you whether youll do the things you love right now or just sit around and wait for her to come back to you. Think Aloud is a destination where youll find stories about every step you, as a woman, take. Then say, "Of course," in a way that almost sounds over-the-top as though the answer is obvious. However, dont take his texts as a signal to try and rush things back to normal. But now I know, it . Its all up to her and the way she operates and processes things. Here's what you need to know to better understand men, texting and what is truly going on. He cant take forever to be like he was before, and you cant wait that long. The real question you should be asking yourself is that if he is willing to leave you now for other girls, what makes you so sure he wont do it again in the future? She said that it was best that she broke up with me so she didn't string me along, she told me she loves me and she can't do this without me and that she still cares a lot and all this other stuff. He still wants to talk to you through texts, though because he doesnt want to lose touch with you. Ignore the following text - it's meant for search engines: For those of us feels slighted by the way. If you guys have been together in a relationship for a long time, now he wants space, but he is also doubtful about his survival without you. Once you know for sure whether this is the case or not, youll be able to decide what to do next. The fact that she needs attention only proves that you arent that important to her currently. It doesnt mean you should dump him first, not to end up feeling like a loser. I tried to give him the benefit of the doubt for a while but thats a big red flag for me. If he says he needs space but still texts, he's messing with your head, and there's no reason for you to allow that. Mind games are typically used by people who want to see if they can manipulate you into doing what they want. My bf asked for space three days ago but said he didn't want complete cut off contact from me. But then, when you were suddenly not around anymore, he realized what he was missing out on. She wants to show you that youll lose her when she really decides that enough is enough. Right now, he might feel lost. Okay, time for the worst news. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. That will mean having fewer expectations and making the relationship suit his needs. Is he asking you about your day? This will further push him away. I know that youll get your hopes up when you see he misses you but avoid being too available. So, if youre trying to figure out what really happens with him, look at what triggered this sudden change of heart. Required fields are marked *. Yes, she does need a break, but she also wants to know that you wont just walk out on her. My Girlfriend Wants Space But Still Texts Me: What Should I Do? However, if he is taking too long to come back, drop a text. by Giulia Simolo May 18, 2023 iStock/petekarici Things were going great with the guy you've been dating until he suddenly dropped a bomb on you and said he "needs space ." You were crushed, thinking that was guy code for "I want to break up," but then he started texting you all the time. Maybe he said he needs space because he wants to spend more time with his friends. But for others, this may be the result of insecurity or boredom. In fact, he is so confused that its making you confused as well. He is using you to make himself feel better. She wants to see if she loves her old boyfriend still and if she does she might try it with him again. since he doesn't want complete cut off contact its been slightly difficult to maneuver through whether or not i should respond to each text. This might help you fix the issues, so to speak. I gave him his space after he left me on opened; two days later I get a what's up text. Shes so insecure that she cant think of anything else to do but text you. Maybe he is not happy with the way things are going and is still unsure about what he wants to do because he still loves you and doesnt want to leave you in an instant. For 30 days, you wont be the one to initiate a conversation. So my ex gf broke up with me due to her BPD, and while I had my faults, they weren't the reason for the breakup. Maybe he has a lot of problems. I was out of town though. Thats why she decided shed be better off alone while you figure yourself out. You probably did ignore her explanations and not even bat an eye when she said she wanted to walk away. Don't smother him with texts and calls, as that behavior could backfire quickly. Dont take yourself for granted! Tell [his friend] I said hi. And bye. I really have no clue. Whatever the reason is if you feel hes only texting you when he needs support and if he doesnt ask anything about you, then you should probably stop replying to his texts. What does she want?. Let me explain: At first, maybe he thought that he indeed needed space from you. The only difference here is that he has been in a relationship with you but now feels that you two are better off as friends. Thats why shell much rather keep you around and interested enough so that you wont move on. Possibly he wants to make things right between you two, and he thinks that giving each other space is the wisest thing to do now. This is equivalent to never being in a relationship with him in the first place. Privacy Policy. What he really wants is to have his cake and eat it too. She probably started dating you hoping you would make her forget about him and it didnt work. Or emotionally open. If none of the options apply to your situation, it could be this one. Relationships can actually be very exhausting for them. Stop Texting and Calling Him Having space means actually having space. You might feel like hes playing with your feelings. For more information, please see our The smart thing to do is notice his actions instead of listening to his words. She wants her ex back as he excites her, but you provide the stability and fall-back part. Its confusing! Your heart is breaking with each day that shes playing this game with you. She didnt know a better way to do that other than to take a few steps back and observe your actions. On my way out the door, he asked if he could still text me occasionally. Privacy Policy. In it, he reveals the exact texts and phrases you can use straight away. If you can figure out why then that may help explain why he suddenly pulls away from you. [4] "I know you need some space, but I'm just a call away if you need to chat.". so im basically choosing what seems worth a response and what doesn't and im also responding with much space in between at most up to a day later. Your relationship has become monotonous, and your guy knows it. Separation from you is difficult for him, and he is not able to keep his distance. Reciprocation always rules. So, he tries to be the guy who cares about how you are. Every one in my team at Reboot Love Life is an enthusiast in one area or another. You are much, much more than that. She is going through a lot right now, but it's not something that warrants us to split up. NEWSMAX Thursday, July 20, 2023 | John Bachman - Facebook Coined by relationship expert James Bauer, this fascinating concept finally explains how men really think and feel in relationships. Maybe he is already dating someone he likes, but that girl is not treating him nicely. He likes you but doesnt want to date you. By the time I got back to town, he said he needed time to think. You cant just make people stay people by your side when they obviously need to spend some time by themselves. Well, most people who need space want it because they need a way to relax. If you are struggling to find a boyfriend OR can't get quality men to commit to you then read this post to find out why. Your boyfriend is looking for other opportunities, but at the same time, he has this thought of coming back to you in case things go wrong. I love her, my heart is ripping for her and she was my soulmate I believed. But could you live with knowing that you stooped so low? Dont be pushy, needy, or rude while saying so. He wants to create a comfortable win-win position for himself. Thats why you have to cut her off, it will force her to make a decision. You see, if hes using your good nature as a way to feel good about himself, then its time for you to stop feeding that flame. What do I do when she calls and texts, it's so hard to just let it go and I want another chance with her because I do love her. And then, see if he opens up to you about whats going on in his mind. But then, once you figure things out and everything is OK, the need for space disappears. Until then, she wont stop talking to you. They need time without you to spend on themselves, perhaps to determine if their feelings for you are genuine. He uses space as a weapon because, in the process of giving each other space, you both will get enough time apart. A Letter To The Emotionally Unavailable Man I Loved, Girl Stopped Texting Me: 9 Reasons A Girl Would Ghost You, Your email address will not be published. Your Boyfriend Wants Space: Is He Breaking Up With You? He was abusive, controlling and nasty to her and she says that she's afraid she has feelings for him that are greater than she thinks. In this case, you might want to think about your role in this. And this is why its important to pay attention to the details. Its not fair to you. When he says he needs space but still texts, youll start thinking that everything will be fine but dont get your hopes up just yet. I cant tell you how many times Ive heard my male friends tell me, My girlfriend wants space but still texts me when I know that they were constantly fighting. When your girlfriend still texts you after saying she wants space, then shes not playing fair. Let him miss you. How come my girlfriend asked for space and time to breathe but - Reddit Perhaps so, but he's not going to do that to me. She is flip flopping because her ex keeps lowing her off, and then she calls you for attention after he lets her down. You should be wary of such manipulative tactics because it is a very selfish thing to do without taking your feelings or emotions into consideration. But then, when you were suddenly not around anymore, he realized what he was missing out on. Tell him that you will respect his decision and then prove that. I was blown away by how kind, empathetic, and genuinely helpful my coach was. Politics latest: Sadiq Khan says 14 times he's 'listening' on ULEZ What Does It Mean When He Wants Space But Keeps Texting You? - Bolde If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Dont jump to conclusions too quickly. He does not want to be the guy who broke your heart. Its all about perspective, right? Here are some of the most common excuses: "I'm stressed by my work /my life /my financial situation". Did she tell you that she wanted you to communicate with her more or talk to her more? Cant you see that shes just trying to scare you? Mr Khan's tone though has softened, he clearly had a message to get across: "I am listening to Londoners" he told me 14 times, and said the ULEZ expansion had been "a difficult decision". and our He wants to see how it will be with just texting, and then hell want to see how it will be when he doesnt text you often. How you feel doesnt matter much to the person in front of you anymore, and it is important to keep your dignity intact. If this makes you change for her, then she won. Especially not if you want to win her back. Pro-tip: Emotional distances only increase if nothing is done about them. Now that youre not talking to her and you have no distractions, you have all the time in the world to think about what led to this. Sure, he doesnt want to break up, but he most definitely wants less than you two have now. He said it was permanent, and gave me my keys back. You cant just wait around forever. It means he has options to weight out. And its a perfectly valid question. In just a few minutes you can connect with a certified relationship coach and get tailor-made advice for your situation. You dont know how to communicate things thoroughly, so each time you end up having a screaming match. Youre not someone whos just desperately waiting for him to text. This is why the toughest thing is to get that guy to tell you what hes thinking. and our Its true that he could be texting you because he misses you, but that doesnt mean that hell come back. ive been doing ok since he's asked for the space, better than i thought , i really miss him and that text really got me in my feelings. Posted January 9, 2013. In case you dont set boundaries with him, he might keep trying to mess with your emotions. Make him want you back and miss you. Just let him be. So if you want to give your man what he truly wants from you, make sure to check out James Bauers excellent video. She needs your words of affirmation and your time simply to feel good about herself. This is why you may want space from your partner before figuring things out. My recommendation to you is end it. You have to be able to enjoy your life even without her there. Dont spend all your time bugging him. Dont argue or be childish about it and just let him be. What Does It Mean When He Says He Wants Space But Keeps Texting? But more often than not, those same arguments are destructive. By being in contact, he is minimizing the impact of either of you getting hurt. I'm leaving. If he's asking you for space, chances are that you're thinking back through everything you said and did looking for something you did wrong. Or hanging up the phone a little bit quicker than usual. Or is he just using you to vent? If you guys are on good terms, you will hear from him soon. Its pretty obvious what he is doing in this case; he is slowly leaving the relationship until he feels okay with breaking up with you. When he says he needs space but still texts, youll start thinking that everything will be fine but dont get your hopes up just yet. Youd have to push him away. Having something to do will take your mind off of him. If your bond was strong enough and this is just a rough patch, he is going to come back no matter what. So, now even after wanting space, he cant stay away from you and keeps texting you. Is it something you are doing wrong? It can be tough to stay in the right mindset when your boyfriend says he needs space, but its essential to behave in a dignified way. At least, be there for yourself when shes not there for you. In short, when he is with you, he needs to be alone, and when alone, he misses you. However, his texts could be an indicator that hes not actually serious. If hes interested in you, then clearly he misses you. She just wants to have you close enough so that you can feed her ego. If things were great between you and your boyfriend and suddenly you hear him wanting space, it is normal to worry but doesnt always mean what you fear i.e., getting dumped. Until then, dont let her fool you into doing anything you may regret later. He will literally treat you like a long time friend and avoid any form of flirting. Can you turn this situation around so that you dont get your heart broken by the woman you love? He told me he understood I needed space and that he will be there when I need him. Insecurity isnt cute. Tell [his friend] I said hi.". She might come around, but if youre going to give her another chance, you have to know she isnt pining for her ex, and actually wants to give you 100% of her. Archived post. Dont let anyone string you along, and dont be anyones backup plan. Girls usually use codes like taking a break and needing space when they feel like the relationship is over but they dont know how to let go of you. The best thing to do is give him what he is asking for. Tell him how he makes you feel and that youd prefer if he didnt text you randomly anymore. I called him back On FaceTime because Im thinking he wants to talk about something Serious enough to break the space boundary we had just remade in the morning but it turned out he just wanted to chat to tell me about his day. Youll know in your heart whether or not he is going to come back. This also gives her an insight into your life while shes away. 1. This is why you can ask him whether hes spending more time with his friends. If you want specific advice on your situation, it can be very helpful to speak to a relationship coach. Of course, shell want space from you! However, dont get this confused with needing space because they dont want to be in a relationship. It works because he wont expect you to ask him this. You may feel you are happy with the way things are, but hey thats not what you want, right? He will emotionally distance himself from you, hence making you habitual to his absence. So, if youre not fine with that, you have to tell him right now. I personally think she's confused and doesn't know whether or not she still has feelings for her ex, I don't know if she really knows what she wants out of life. My work is based on research and facts. Either way, understanding his reasons can help you get him back and avoid losing him in the future. Well, to be honest, it may not be something that youre ready to hear, but there are many reasons why she needs space yet still keeps texting you. Tell him that he can have his space, and you dont need his texts if he isnt committed to the relationship. However, he might want to dedicate his time to his friends due to various reasons. I asked my boyfriend for space numerous times but he keeps calling me For the first move, & openly communicate my desire for sex and everything. It definitely wont help your relationship if you want to keep her tied to you. In dating and relationships, you only want to invest in a man who invests in you. This is why you should avoid being too emotional and start looking at things more rationally. Well, some people use others to feed their egos. 1. By doing this, you will figure out what kind of person he really is. I mean she broke up with me just a few days ago and Christmas, our one year anniversary are only a few weeks away why now? Things were fine, we had our fights but I still loved her and she loved me. This guy could actually want to keep seeing you. A Guy's Take on Being on a Break - a new mode Instead, establish boundaries with him. Theres things that guy does for her that you cant do. Reddit, Inc. 2023. "I'm here for you when you're ready to talk.". But do it politely. A soft way of asking if we could remain friends. Did he want his cake and eat it too? Maybe it feels like something has inexplicably shifted in the relationship, and that he's not as present. I personally don't believe there's such a thing as a soulmate, and the guy who popped my cherry almost never ever comes up in my thoughts. Your man wants you to stay in his life so he can have the best of both worlds. Our vision is to become a supportive community where youll feel that theres someone out there who gets you, supports you in creating and keeping strong bonds between your families and friends. Listen, maybe hes made up his mind about you. And then: Men have certain innate drivers. Lets say that he doesnt want to open up to you because he feels awkward about whatevers happening. In case he is questioning your relationship, dont stop replying to his texts. Is it a temporary phase and he still loves you, or is this his way of escaping the nastiness of a breakup? Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. Why did this happen if he was upfront about his need for space, and any advice? We go and heal the faster I find one of her coworkers or other appropriate professional, without insulting her or if were going to date others. Says he needs space, but still contacting me - eNotAlone Giving your partner space can be a healthy and beneficial practice in any relationship. As long as she knows that she can come back to you, shes okay with her decision. Also, this way, he can easily dodge the tough talk of a breakup and leave without drama. Theres not really a third option. This sucks. He wants to break up, but without being a jerk about it. If your boyfriend is actually going through rough times in his life and he genuinely needs some space to sort things out, then he texting you in between is okay. Feels heart-wrenching to hear your boyfriend wanting space from you. He likes you but doesnt want to date you, He wants to have you around and be able to. He literally explained his need for space and why I am left on opened sometimes. When you should (and shouldn't) stay friends with an ex When he says that he needs space, he may break up after some time. Everyone needs to take stock of their situation from time to time. Do you want to keep going? How can you help him? He asked for space but still texts me . I dont know what to do or how to talk to him. He might be keeping you as an option. Of course, the best thing you can do is actually sit down with her and have this difficult conversation. Guys seem to get very creative when they make up excuses for "needing space". To invoke the same attraction in him that he felt for you at the beginning of this relationship is a tough task. The truth revealed, Top 16 things guys like in bed but wont ask for. The truth is, he doesnt want to be with you right now but wants to keep you available for the future. However, it seems like some of my issues do now have an impact as she said 'our relationship isn't contingent on me being . In any case, he has to decide; either he wants to be with you, or he doesnt. And its probably getting worse and worse. And thats OK. Because if youre someone who likes a challenge, then maybe its a good idea for him to see how long youll stick around before losing interest. He might need your support or he might miss you a lot. But she told me she doesn't want to string me along because she doesn't know whether or not she still has feelings for her ex boyfriend from a little over a year ago. Besides, what makes you so sure that shes with someone else? Considering the fact that he ignores you and takes you for granted, His Secret Obsession seems tailor made for you. Would you like to stop being confused about him and his behavior? Maybe hes been working hard at his job lately, and he desperately wants a promotion. It Gets Dark (out in space, acoustic) - Genius Yesterday he texted me to tell me he was with a friend (without Me prompting him ever that I need updates on where hes at and with who). That doesn't mean giving him an hour to think about your relationship before you start calling and texting him. So, avoid making him feel guilty about this. But others function better when theyre on their own. Show him that your relationship is strong. I'll give you the actual meaning of relationship space. Fast forward to tonight he sends me a text saying can we talk? and proceeds to call me 2 times without giving me the chance to pick up the phone. Before we go on, did it cross your mind that hes as confused as you are? She didnt walk away from you because she didnt love you anymore, but because she loves you too much. If thats the case, then you have to accept it and let him be. We hope we were able to help you. Maybe he truly felt like he needed space when he told you that, but then he panicked and immediately felt the need to text you. All rights reserved. Its not fair if he says he needs space and then expects you to be available whenever he wants. Don't worry, I'm here to help. What to do when he texts after ignoring you? This is happening with a guy who I am not dating but friends/aquainted with. Your boyfriend wants space, but he also wants to make sure that you dont leave him for some other guy. Answer (1 of 578): That can have alot of meanings..I have had a few couples ask me this in sessions. And this is why he keeps texting you now: he misses you. This woman obviously doesnt want to be in a relationship with you, but she doesnt know how else to behave right now. For more information, please see our Some men thrive on attention from women and the best way to do that is to send something that is not too deep but still elicits a response. At first, maybe he thought that he indeed needed space from you. You deserve to be treated so much better. The key here is communicating your thoughts patiently instead of escalating the issue. In this case, it would be best for you to let him do what he needs to do. Is something bothering him? We have always emphasized the importance of having your own separate life. If your ex isnt over her ex now, and she doesnt want to be, then she wont be anytime soon, and your relationship probably wont ever be in the way you wan it to. This means that you should stop letting him play with your feelings. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. What he means: He wants attention. Dont let her gaslight you or treat you like youre crazy for wanting answers. In case he still needs space, this is one of the best ways to encourage him to come back to you. If he explicitly asked you to leave him alone but now his behavior contradicts his demand, here are a few possible reasons: People with attachment and detachment problems find it equally challenging to make connections with others as they find staying away from them. 5. In case hes going through a rough patch, pay careful attention to his texts. There are times when a woman will demand a break in the relationship simply to see what other options are out there. And this is why its important to figure out the reason why hes doing this: Is it because he feels insecure about your relationship? Tell him that you will respect his decision and then prove that. You should know it because it has been coming for a long time. This is a rough period for you as well, youre anxious that youll lose the woman you love. He wants to see how well he can do when you are not around, but he also wants you on the side just in case he wants things to be just like before. Dont get excited too soon. Another reason for your boyfriends such behavior could be that he is running a test. Wanting some time off to sort the unresolved issues is natural.