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Let me get back to you after I cry in the corner. and jehovah melted the mountain - operation fireful cleanup || nsppd || 27th july 2023 Master 101 frequent business situations with our eBook! The key thing here is to communicate your expectations clearly and ensure that they understood them as you intended. Often, things don't go according to plan, or something unexpected happens. Why did you make that decision? You asked instead if he would wave his hand in your peripheral vision to get your attention. Is it strange to ask someone to ask someone else to do something, while CC'd? 100+ Funny and Witty Replies to "Are You Single?" - PairedLife Like asking a burglar why they are breaking into your home. You want to know what makes the world tick. Asking someone why they're single can often feel like a. If your parents ask you to do something and you dont understand the point of it, its a good idea to ask why. Helping clients identify their why can help them move forward healthily. Are the NEMA 10-30 to 14-30 adapters with the extra ground wire valid/legal to use and still adhere to code? Being single is not a disease and it does not mean the person is flawed or inferior. What do you think is the root reason youre a passionate liberal (or conservative, libertarian, whatever)? I have to keep reminding myself also. It words it so that your intentions are pure and you simply want to do your best. And if so, did they commit to doing it?" Why do people ask you how you are but don't respond when you - Quora This may be a fair position. have trouble fully expressing their emotions. (Stock image) Being single is great, because there's a difference between being lonely and being alone. To subscribe to this RSS feed, copy and paste this URL into your RSS reader. If these two expressions of intimacy are separate or disjointed, a couple may be unable to evolve into a mature, loving relationship. Saying something along the lines of. Sometimes, asking "why" can seem accusatory or like an. If you keep the language and tone professional, you've done all you can. Psychology Today 2023 Sussex Publishers, LLC. When these types of questions come from friends and family they arent asking to criticize or judge you. (In fact, when the reverse situation applies to me, I usually respond with an explanation, but that comes across negatively as "justifying" my actions - in this case, I want the other person to respond in the manner generally considered "justifying".). We loved each other and tried to work things out, but in the end we went our separate ways. NEWSMAX Thursday, July 20, 2023 | John Bachman - Facebook Deanna Cobden is the CEO and Founder of Dateworks. The way you spoke about the things you're asking people not to do makes me suspect that you don't have a true right to expect them to stop. Don't Ask, Don't Get. Whats the main reason you want to lose weight? How To Ask If Someone Is Single (9 Subtle Ways) - Her Norm Please keep it that way, and use comments only for suggesting improvements or requesting clarifications, in short, use them to improve this question. There isn't even supposed to be a fire, I just want to ask for an explanation in a nice way. Don't be surprised if for some people in your life they just laugh. It landed right inside a plastic cup full of beer. The subject can tell the truth if they know it, or they can make their best guess. Then being real about your past can create closeness. No matter what, you are creating a safe space with this phrase. I've found that regardless of how much explanation you give stating you really are not angry and that you only want to have a discussion, often if someone is already on the defensive about an action they know you aren't okay with, they'll usually only grow more defensive the longer the leading explanation is. If you are confident and brave, this is the perfect way to ask them. Using a comma instead of and when you have a subject with two verbs, The British equivalent of "X objects in a trenchcoat", Effect of temperature on Forcefield parameters in classical molecular dynamics simulations. You can try to beat around the bush and smooth your delivery but their hostility for doing something wrong won't change. It just feels like everything is jumbled up. Why do we have self-awareness? With this message try to understand if there are problems and you aren't attacking directly the employee. as well as other partner offers and accept our, NOW WATCH: What's next for dating during coronavirus, according to an anthropologist, pathogen expert, and love-life coach, According to marriage counselor Robert Maurer. As well as how they operate in a relationship. You may have to accept that. The actual situation here is over the curation of an Internet website. If I ask my dev guys why they insisted on html tables when writing divs would be faster and neater and more HTML5 compliant that is not an attack. As time goes by and you remain uncoupled. And finally, this is what Im looking forward to in the future. As I'm a reason-oriented person, giving me a good reason as to why they're doing it is enough for me to understand and stop questioning them. So, if you've now asked yourself those questions, did you derive an insight or two about yourself? So what should you say to all those well-meaning friends, family and potential matches? Stay up to date with what you want to know. Actually, I'm a potato. Or maybe your boss asks you to do a task, but you dont see the point of it. Actually, the best way to get this across to the other party is to explain to them your goals the way you did in your question. Its me: I feel like I dont deserve you. People often just need to talk things out. Can you tell me the reason? As someone who also likes to understand why people do certain things, I'm going to offer an alternative answer to the one already listed. These kind of statements will usually be taken in subconsciously by the other person as a reflection on your personality. So that person is a wrongdoer, and you want an explanation why they are doing this. I just want to know the reason behind it, and nothing more. Here's what you can do instead: Ask them for advice. If a question closed within the last five days gets edited, it goes into a review queue for possible reopening in case it was edited to fix the original problem with the post; as their minor edits do not fix the post so that the original close reason no longer applies, we have to vote against reopening the post (this creates extra work for three users, the required amount to dequeue the post). Hey, I noticed you're still X. We talked about it last week, so you know I don't like when you X because reasons. I'd recommend avoiding language like "let's have a calm discussion" and "I already told you I didn't like _____" because these have a tendency to put people on the defensive. They may even be right -- your neighbour doesn't have to paint their house a colour you like, your coworker doesn't have to wear clothes you approve of as long as they are not actively offensive, your sibling doesn't have to date only people you want them to date. Some people don't like arguing. Additionally, posts are only added to that review queue once per closure by editing, so by making their minor edit, this user is depriving the post author of their chance to have their own question reopened. The opinions expressed on this website are those of each author, not of the author's employer or of Red Hat. My response to this would be simply, "If you have a question please ask it, I don't understand all of the other things you are saying?" The burglar hasn't thought about what he's doing and how it affects people. Even in your text I infer a tone of being talked down to and it seems overtly passive aggressive. You might ask why at school if youre learning a new topic and want to know everything there is to know about it. 6 Easy Tips To Build Your Dating Confidence, 11 Warning Signs Hes Pulling Away From You (Exact Ways To Tell), What Makes A Man Fall In Love and Commit (9 Things That Will Change Your Life), Bundle Up Vancouver! When youre learning something new, sometimes it just wont click at first. However, you don't have to have an answer to everything. So as long as youre working on yourself and growing that is enough. What to Say? Any idea whats behind that? Do the 2.5th and 97.5th percentile of the theoretical sampling distribution of a statistic always contain the true population parameter? Stack Overflow at WeAreDevelopers World Congress in Berlin. Am I betraying my professors if I leave a research group because of change of interest? That doesn't mean they keep employing you. I guess it's, because I'm not secure enough to be tolerant of others. Express gratitude for the trust they have in you and for how they value your relationship. Its also about why it works that way. This is how to ask why when youre confused. Did they agree? Part of it is probably that being single is more stigmatized for women than for men. How to ask Why. People don't like being put on the | by - Medium Heat capacity of (ideal) gases at constant pressure. If youve been singlefor awhile,Im sure youve been asked this exact question or a version of it (Are you dating anyone?, How are you still single?, What happened X person?) one too many times. So what did I miss? Self-doubt is normal, but chronic insecurity can sabotage one's success and relationships. Correcting what I see as factual errors in a political discussion. #6 Keep the Conversation Light. When you think about your friends, how far would you go to protect and help them? What am I working so hard for if not to get nice things? I work in said environment and hope to never return to your version of a workplace. Can you tell me the reason? Whether you accidentally forget to end a request with "please" or inadvertently call someone by the wrong name, it's easy to make the occasional etiquette error here or there. Stop Asking Other People This Rude Question, Etiquette Experts Caution Asking why is a good way to learn more about a topic. "Why didn't you " in some languages means "You are a total idiot for not doing". Come on, everyone cheats a little. This is a good question if you want to show initiative in class or if youre curious about something. You dont need to be perfect to find love! Okay, well, thanks for letting me know your thoughts on this. What do multiple contact ratings on a relay represent? "Would you be able to explain your side of this? You work with all kinds of people. That's because it's a word that can seem accusatory or like you're interrogating. If there is no good reason for doing it, then your "why" question will quite predictably lead to very, very strong resistance. What's a good way to do that? But not exactly as most would think. Is it unusual for a host country to inform a foreign politician about sensitive topics to be avoid in their speech? Table of Content show Reasons You Might Ask Why You Want to Learn More There are many wonderful things about being single. One aspect that I think is worth mentioning, though, is that there are times when we wish people wouldn't do things, but we have no right to really expect them to stop. | I havent met the right person yet. In reply to I will sure be reading this a by robinmuilwijk. I have a fear of dying and want to cram in as much as I can. The most awkward part of the question, Ettin says, is the use of the word "still," as it implies that there is something wrong with being single in the first place. You told me that you sometimes cut ethical corners at work. 2. September 18, 2020 Shutterstock/ShotPrime Studio Even if you consider yourself a polite person, chances are you slip up when it comes to your etiquette from time to time. Getting to the root of the why is the purpose of therapy. That is a surprising response. I usually ask people how they are doing and when they reciprocate by asking me the same question, I ignore it and proceed to talk about how they are. People arent explaining their reasoning for their ideas. I learned my lesson. How to Ask Someone if They Like You as a Friend or in a - wikiHow I know I can't make you stop X. I can ask you to, because it's important to me, and I can tell you why it's important to me. How to Ask a Person if They're Single: 9 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow Asking "why" questions can help you understand yourself better. "He's too picky," or "She looks good and is single, so she must be psycho or bitchy," for example. 4 reasons you should never ask a woman why she's single The prior makes already defensive people feel as though you are assuming they can't have a calm discussion and the latter putting yourself in a position of superiority over them. (This will be different from country to country, but some state agencies may be a lot more helpful if they get a call from your lawyer / tax advisor etc. rather than "Why did you do it that way?". If the person did indeed make a mistake, that gives them a chance to pretend that they found the mistake themselves (and not you), and admit to it or even start fixing it before you realise that it was a mistake - which is ten times better than being told by you. Can we figure out a path forward that works for both of us, even if it's just gaining better understanding? (from. How to find the end point in a mesh line. Who knows how he may respond. Theres something about being near water. Story: AI-proof communication by playing music. Asking why someone is feeling the way they are, gives an invitation for them to tell you about their emotions and shows that you care. I don't actually understand the downvote here. Everyone just stared in silence for a few seconds, trying to absorb the significance of the moment. I just want to know the rationale behind the matter and have a calm and frank discussion. 10 Ways People Unintentionally Destroy Their Relationships, 5 Ways to Get Out of an Extramarital Affair, Why Our Perception of Time Flips at Midlife, Forget and Forgive: How Forgetting Sustains Relationships, Five Important Factors In Liking Yourself, What "Barbie" Gets Right About Male Psychology, Four Psychology Concepts Most People Get Wrong, Live Fully in the Present, Not in Your Head, Living With Your Gifted Childs Intensity. Thus far, I've left comments pinging them on the posts they've edited, requesting that they refrain from editing posts closed within the last five days. It suggests there is something wrong with being single, something the single person has to answer for, and the "still" part implies that, ultimately, just about everyone will marry. Could you tell me what the reason was that you did ABC instead, so I understand better what is going on? in your question, you are asserting that the expected norm is "I tell you not to do it, you stop doing it." As long as you don't sound upset, then you can have all the time you need to figure out what to do nexteven post here, or call a friend, or see a therapist, or just make a decision, whatever your process needs to be to move forward. It's a mysterious package, delivered by subtle sensory clues. I will sure be reading this a few times, and learn from it. Just to make it concrete let's say the person's name is Sam and you asked him not to touch you at all, even including not tapping your shoulder. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you or with being single. And then redirect the conversation back to them. How can I ask my flatmate why she's upset after I mentioned feeling like a third wheel? There are a lot of people who are with the wrong person, or in . "Ask questions the other person will enjoy answering . Click here to get your own love reading. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Stack Exchange network consists of 183 Q&A communities including Stack Overflow, the largest, most trusted online community for developers to learn, share their knowledge, and build their careers. who says "I messed this up for my client, how can we fix this", because they don't like punishing you for someone else's mistakes). Time for me to tame my reaction a little and start to be more empathic :), In reply to Thanks for the fantastic by woohuiren. Method 1 Taking a Direct Approach Download Article 1 Smile and make eye contact. There's a simple question to be asked and there's no reason why it shouldn't be asked (and every reason that it should). Maybe they were pressured by friends or werent feeling well and acted out in response. Why do you keep doing [x]? First, know what you want. Read More How To Meet Single Men On Valentines DayContinue, Does the thought of meeting and dating new people make you nervous, anxious or uncertain? And yet the number of people living alone is very much on the rise. Simply tell them: Im dating and having fun. Being direct in this way is so very hard to do, but it is the honorable path forward. It is possible they had perfectly valid reasons but they never explained them to me. Asking why in a conversation shows that youre engaged and care about whats being discussed. If at that point, your coworker says what amounts to "go stuff it" then you have more hard decisions to make. It seems like, from your past experience, your friend is already on the defensive when you approach this topic. You employ them, so just ask for a report. Making statements based on opinion; back them up with references or personal experience. You need to be prepared for answers he might give that aren't satisfying. By clicking Post Your Answer, you agree to our terms of service and acknowledge that you have read and understand our privacy policy and code of conduct. Asking "why" often seems like the most direct way to get at a point, but it can also: As with many lessons, I learned this one the hard way. I am always curious, and especially in work related situations I want to understand the context for something I work on, so always ask and use why a lot. Remember not to "shoot down" their reasoning straightaway and rebut with your own reasoning (no matter how much more intuitive or "correct" you think your reasons are). I know that this can be hugely uncomfortable for many people who have been struggling with dating or have been single for a long time. You want to get to the bottom of everything. Or the fact that you can rest easy at night, knowing that youre not settling for less than you deserve. SEE ALSO: It's time to reclaim singledom as a symbol of power If. This is a good phrase to use during a conversation if it seems like someone made a bad choice. Asking why can be so natural and tempting! How to ask for something in an email with 9 examples - Flowrite She lives on the edge of the Rocky Mountains with her dog and a lifetime supply of books. " Be a good listener ," Dale Carnegie advised in his 1936 classic How to Win Friends and Influence People. The key is to reframe your story in a way that shows that youve healed your past, are emotionally mature and looking for a healthy relationship. Being Single Isn't a Disease So Stop Treating It Like It Is You just met The One or maybe a shady character. I previously attempted to tell you about why it may be a bad idea to do it (the action), however I noticed that you continued to do it. The art of asking: 21 ways to ask for what you want and get it. How do you understand the kWh that the power company charges you for? rev2023.7.27.43548. Opensource.com aspires to publish all content under a Creative Commons license but may not be able to do so in all cases. 21 Witty Responses To "Are You Single?" - Bustle Convey that they are the right person for the job Be clear about why the person you're messaging is the right person for the job. In open organizations, asking "why" isn't unusual. What do you think is behind that? Those things signify that a person has made it. I sometimes forget how contentious/confrontational asking "Why?" Talk about things that make you happy, what you like to do, and who you are as a person not who you used to be, and who you used to be with.". Right now Im dating and having fun. Wagner chief Yevgeny Prigozhin has given what appears to be his first interview since his aborted mutiny; Ukrainian soldiers on the frontline have been spotted using "seized" North Korean rockets . With people, Im always worried about having nothing to say or that I'll say the wrong thing. Learn more about Stack Overflow the company, and our products. How do I correct something a colleague did wrong without going over his head? They may tell you it's none of your business, it's their choice, and you don't get a vote. By clicking Accept all cookies, you agree Stack Exchange can store cookies on your device and disclose information in accordance with our Cookie Policy. And it affects your performance (distracting). This is a slightly less "it's all me" type of communication. Ideally with a response that keeps the conversation going. For example "how are you?" - "good and you?" - "glad you're well" OR "how ar. If they have a good explanation for what they're doing, I'll let them continue. If you ask your child why they made a certain choice, you might be surprised by the answer. You seem unhappy in our relationship. However, on posts closed within the last five days, this presents a problem, and these constitute a significant proportion of their editing. O. 1. Red Hat and the Red Hat logo are trademarks of Red Hat, Inc., registered in the United States and other countries. It means they may fire you without arguing. It sounds like you are talking to a dog. They're drawn from my clients, friends, and me. You are not saying anything about the actual situation, but I assume it's something that is wrong in your opinion, and something where I and most reasonable people would agree. The more clarity you can have about what you want, the better. When Im with people, its all about compromise. Being Single Isn't a Disease So Stop Treating It Like It Is You arent trying to be a pain- you just want to know more. Mainly so that negative consequences don't happen again in your department. When shes not writing, she can be found wandering through nature or journaling at a coffee shop. The best answers are voted up and rise to the top, Not the answer you're looking for? Giving them the space to talk things out can help them figure out their own emotions, while also helping you understand the process. Am I betraying my professors if I leave a research group because of change of interest? Sign up for notifications from Insider! Not everybody, but many would. But it actually comes with a lot of negative implications. Sometimes people dont even know why theyre feeling a certain way. And too much probing of other people can make you as annoying as the child who asks why 1,000 times a day. If anyone every talked to me like this I would instantly not like to work for them or have them work for me. Why didn't you tell me about that? I kept this hidden before because I thought people would be quick to reach for the "close" button without bothering to see that the question is on-topic and applicable to real-life situations as well. Although asking "why" rarely results in positive outcome, I would often do it reflexively without realizing the ill effects. can be. The effect is the same. Get the help you need from a therapist near youa FREE service from Psychology Today. Ettin said in an email to Business Insider. They love and care for you. Its fun being outside and getting my hands dirty, plus its decent exercise. 110 fun date night ideas for couples. Great advice, Sam. First, avoid long drawn out stories that make you feel as if you have to justify why youve never had a serious relationship or why a string of relationships havent worked out. The questions can come from anyone parents, relatives,friends and even sometimes the people you go on dates with. Are arguments that Reason is circular themselves circular and/or self refuting? What to Say When Someone Asks Why You're Still Single "Thats a really personal question that I don't need or want to answer." And then change the subject. Not everyone is going to be a fit and thats ok. You dont need to justify that or feel bad about it for anyone. If there was an implicit expectation, rather than a direct request, it's possible the employee wasn't aware of your needs. On most posts, including all answers, open questions, and closed questions that were closed more than five days ago, this isn't a problem, and I appreciate what they do.